From here, my life will start to descent into a terrifyingly horrible state... Things will only get worse and here is the start. I have a feeling my girlfriend will begin getting angry and or sad soon, which will in turn hurt me. My family life is hellish at times, and it'll only get worse this weekend... I brought up the fact that I aced a math test, which was a mistake. My mom will soon look at my grades and ground me because they're not perfect. I just shouldn't even try. And for the most part I don't anymore, because no matter how hard I try it won't be enough for them. Or anyone else. I'm an inferior waste. Just as well, my relationship with God seems to be suffering, which opens a whole new book on things to be sad/upset about.
As soon as my girlfriend gets pissed over me or her family soon, I won't have anything left. My few friends have crumbled and failed me. I can't trust them anymore. I can't focus on her like I'd like to then. All I'll have is video games and sin, and doing too much of either makes me feel like a pretty shitty person. I don't have any talents or loving family or good friends. What can I focus on? What do I have? What will occupy me until I rot away in death?
Perhaps nothing. Perhaps I'll look at the walls of my tomb that my parents call me room. Perhaps I'll put on coats before school as a mummy puts on goss. Perhaps I'll find ways to disappoint people, as the dead tend to do. I'm almost dead to the world already.