Thursday, May 30, 2013


Light headed, dizzy, shortness of breath, feeling like you're going to puke... All symptoms of a stroke.

Turns out you can get those exact same symptoms from quick, intense exercise. For a moment I considered the possibility of a stroke, but nope! In the end I decided I was just a total pussy! I just did my nightly exercises, but much quicker than normal. Turns out, my body thought I was trying to kill it.

In the end it punished me. Just as I finished this post I desperately had to throw up. Exercise never pays!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My Day

Discovery of the day: tear and tear are spelled the same. (Cried and ripped)

Quote of the day: "You could be ready to go again by 6:30, that'll be a long night."

Childish moment of the day: looking into the mirror trying to look like a meerkat, followed by irrationally trying to win a staring contest with myself.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Breathing to Death

"I'm not living, I'm just breathing to death" Lecrae

I worry about that this summer. If I'm locked in my room, stuck in this house, trapped in these ways this summer... I'll just be breathing to death. Dying a slow death. I need to be doing something. Anything. I certainly need a job, and even after that I need to do things with the few friends I have left. I need to stay occupied. And I need to not bug my girlfriend too much, if I'm all over her or spend too much time with her, it may not be good for our relationship. So I'll have to spend time with my few other friends, adopt hobbies out of the house, something... Lets hope it all works out...

Sunday, May 26, 2013

No Church

No church this Sunday... I miss it. My girlfriend's family takes me to church every Sunday, but this Sunday they're out on a sort of family retreat. So I can't get to church. The few churches here and town that I can or could have gotten to have very... Interesting reputations, and I'd like to stay in the CRC denominations if at all possible. Unfortunately, there are none here in town. The CRC church we go to is in another town actually, a bit of a drive but it's worth it.

I love those people there. Everyone at that church is warm and inviting, I just wish I could find things to talk about with them, or an excuse to talk to the Elders about anything at all. I wish I could sit down at the table where all of the older people are, and be able to listen to the stories of their life. To hear about their grand adventures, to see and know when and how God changed their life... I love hearing those things. I need to get the courage to have these wonderful people stroll down memory lane for me. If love to make friends with other teenagers too, but I don't really like them as much to be perfectly honest. Teenagers are usually either locked up inside themselves, or full of themselves. Either way, they bore me. Yes there are a select few that aren't like that, and I like to call those select few my friends. Regardless, I wish I could be there at the church today. On the bright side, I can watch the sermon later tonight on YouTube. They record them and put them online every Sunday, I really appreciate it.

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature, please stop raining on my day.


Rich Kid Status Achieved

I have a towel with my name on it. I feel like a total rich kid and it's great!

Saturday, May 25, 2013


"You've got the world on it's knees, you're taking all that you please, you want more -you want more- but you'll get nothing from me! You're like the burden we bear, you're all the hate that we share, you want more, but you'll get nothing from me- we're enemies!"

-Enemies by Shinedown

I love this bit in the song, it's beautifully vengeful. And to me, threatening someone who has the world on it's knees takes some balls, I mean really.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Catching up

I feel bad. It's almost been 10 days since my last post. I need to utilize my anonymity here and spill my heart more!

Life has been on the up and up lately. Aside from finals coming up and those people related to me, life is a never ending paradise.

My relationship with my girl is right where I want it, bordering on too physical. We've been very mature, we aren't all over each other, (which is highly unusual for teenagers!) we chat about everything, and we discuss issues openly and honestly. Just short of perfect. I ought to become closer with her friends, but it'll be a painful process I'm afraid. They aren't terrible people, but it'll be tough for two reasons. 1. I dont think they like me much. Even if they do, they don't get my jokes and hate it when I poke fun at things. I feel like a major 3rd wheel, and usually sit there silent. 2. I haven't spent time with people in ages. I cut all ties with my "friends" recently and it has proved to be a wise decision. I still have a few friends, but I don't eat with them. Instead I go find a quiet place in the rain. A safe haven from the burdens of people. A sanctuary of solitude. It's so peaceful and wonderful, not having to wade through the bullshit of it all. But because of my new found solitude, I am increasingly disliking people more and more. It seems harder to communicate as I shut myself out from the world. I suppose we will soon see the repercussions of my actions taken to become a loner.

Finals are soon, and realistically I should be studying now. Finals are 20% of your grade. If I do well in math, I pass. If I don't, I fail. I'm in a place with my grade where the final will make a massive difference. For other classes, it's not as dire, but doing well would be fantastic.

Recently I downloaded the kindle app to my phone and synced up with my mothers Amazon account. This means I got all her books, and I downloaded a bunch of books myself. R.C Sproul, my favorite Christian author had an entire free book series, and I got it all. It's amazing and it's been keeping me busy for awhile now. Just as well I need to start reading "the fault in our stars," a book which my lady friend says is incredible, and my mother agrees. It's a cultural renaissance for me at the moment. Along with amazing amounts of literature, there has been art coming in at all angles. From the art places in the school, such as inkblot, the art magazine the school publishes, from my girly person and her art or sketches, and from movies or digital places. Art seems to be everywhere these days. And I also need to memorize two monologues from plays for my theater final, which adds even more art and culture to my life.

Life has been wonderful lately, I hope to share all of the fun stories that happen in the coming days with you guys soon.

Digital book-things!

I love having the kindle app on my phone. I'm really enjoying reading lately. =)

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


"The acid is gone? Son of a toaster!" -Mr Jones (my Chem teacher)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


Tomorrow is my girls birthday! The love letter is written, and I'm ready for bed to try and speed through the night!

I'm not going overboard for a change, in fact I may be under-doing it. (Because under-doing is certainly a word) I'm only giving her a love note, and 16 kisses. We never kiss, we've made it off limits till we can actually date, and it'll be rare even when we do date. So tomorrow, with any lucky, I can give her 16 kisses from me. Something she never gets, and something only I can give her.

Also, I'm giving her all my time. Any second she wants or needs me inside or outside school I'm hers. She always says I don't have to get her things, all she wants is me, so I'm giving her just that. Me.

I'm not being a total cheapskate either, she's having a birthday party Saturday and I'm giving her gifts then too. Inside jokes and fun things. =) But for now, I hope she accepts the 16 kiss idea so I can give her a birthday to remember. =)

She liked the kisses. Maybe more than I did. =) It was a birthday to remember she says, so mission accomplished. =)
Every so often you just have these calm moments of reflection where you sit back and go "this is my life, this is it."

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Do you ever wonder if God ever looked down upon Earth, saw something he reeeeeeally didn't like and went "nuh uh! No, this is NOT happening, not on my planet! No, no- you know what? I'm going to get all Old Testament on these-" I mean, really there's a lot of things that that's a valid reaction for if you're God. Just sayin, it's totally cool if you send a few tsunamis our way, we deserve it.

Happy Mothers Day

Friday, May 10, 2013


I'm grounded, but even now I still feel blessed to live the life I lead. I still have God looking out for me, (even if my mom wanted to take away my bible) I can still have lunch in wonderful places like this, I'm still being fed and sheltered, and I still have one true friend. That's all I need, that's all I want.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Well, life hasn't been half bad lately. That's a nice change from the mentally straining over thinking that life usually is.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Fiber Optics

There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere. -Isaac Asimov

Friday, May 3, 2013

A Few Pics From Around Town

Just a few pictures I've taken in this good weather we've had. A few lovely pictures at the park (like that squirrel eating an apple!) and a few pictures around the train tracks by my school. Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May 1st

The first of the month. =) At last, after all this time I'm finally in May, the month of my girls birthday. That girl made time fly. I have about two weeks before we can officially date, and I'll have more of her parents support. (I hope!) I don't care about titles, but I really want to play by her parents rules.

Just as well, her birthday means birthday presents. Even if I can't go to the party, I still have a couple gifts for her that she'll love. If everything goes real well with her parents, maybe she'll even get a kiss. Naaah, she's not that lucky!