Anyways, here's the rather under edited story. A few highlighted bits I really think need work, but aside from that... yeah just whatever, here it is. =)
He could see his breath as he ran in the crisp winter night. Under the moonlight, it seemed to swirl like a small blizzard in the cold world he was too familiar with. It swirled until it to froze, then faded into the invisible nothing of the frosty air. The young teenager ran through the forest on this chilling night as if wolves were chasing him, but there were none to be found. He had been darting through this frosty jungle at full speed for nearly an hour now, and his lungs were burning from the frost. His face was red, but it wasn’t apparent under the makeup of the snow clinging to his face. There were marks on his face from where tears had frozen their way down his cheeks, like some sort of tribal make up. His knees and arms were torn open in the way that only rough asphalts claws can tear, and either the beginnings of scabs were forming over his wounds, or his blood was freezing to his skin. Did it matter which? He hadn’t prepared for this excursion, in fact he was wearing nothing more than newly torn jeans and a thin ACDC t-shirt that clung tightly to his cold body as if it were looking for warmth. His body was freezing away, however he didn’t notice. He just kept running.
His limbs were going numb. His lungs screamed. He heart was begging for relief. But he wasn’t listening to his body, he was too absorbed by his thoughts. His mind was racing faster than his collapsing body as he ran through the nightmare that became his life.
Tonight he left the house just as it was starting to get dark. As he was getting ready, he could hear his parents arguing in their room. Both his mother and father were screaming at the top of their lungs, often at the same time, until his mothers shouts turned to tears. Then the house was silent, aside from the hum of the heaters and the rhythmic beat of his mothers sobs that recently became the anthem to this teenagers life. He slipped his shoes on, then slipped out of the house without a soul knowing. He shut the door to his home, if it can truly be deemed as such, and turned to face the winter. He admired the layer of ice that covered the world. The trees were coated with a glassy coat of ice, and the ground covered in an ice layer that preserved the crystals of snow beneath. He needed relief. He needed a break from the chaotic hell of his home.
Earlier in the week, the school was abuzz about a party that was being thrown on the weekend. It was one of those big parties the popular kids throw when their parents are away on some trip. You know, the unsupervised “invitation only” kind of get drunk parties. The teenager was most certainly not invited. He was a nobody, however his girlfriend wasn’t. Amelia. The A in Amelia stood for A+. She was the popular girl, the head cheerleader, the athlete, the GPA Nazi, the honors student, and the best that the school had to offer. Why she doted on her little nobody of a boyfriend was always a mystery, to both him and to the school. But faithfully since freshmen year, she loved on him and spoiled him. Maybe she just felt bad for him and his abundance of inadequacy. Maybe she felt better about herself by being so close to him. Regardless, Amelia was invited to the party, and her nobody was not.
Now he trudged over the ice to that party. Anything was better than his home, even a sea of people who had never heard his name. It was only a few blocks away, and worst case it wasn’t a long walk home. He arrived with frozen cheeks and a runny nose.
The walk was longer than he had expected, and his bare arms were pink from the short walk. The house was the kind sizable enough that it needed a big metal gate to surround it. A small mansion made of solid white stone, with a frozen fountain in the front yard. A snow laden drive way wrapped around the glimmering fountain, and there were cars parked in every conceivable angle in it. Pillars carved over countless hours held up the stone porches surrounding the mansion. Large windows outnumbered the walls, emulating a warm glow of the party within. The base could be felt outside as he walked towards the front door. Surprisingly, the large wooden front door was open, and he walked right in. The air was filled with a sweet smoke, and the hands of all the teenagers were filled with red solo cups containing a number of sweet intoxication's. He weaved his way through the crowd of teenagers looking for Amelia, the only person that may pay any attention to him at all in this place. The only shining light in his world right now. The rooms were all decorated lavishly in the house, but were polluted with a cast of delinquents. In one room, some jocks laughing on the ground, drenched in beer. Another, a player with too few hands and too many ladies. Just next to a stair case, a girl with nothing more than short skirt and fragments of a top passed out on a white leather couch.
He couldn’t find Amelia anywhere. Maybe she didn’t show up. He went upstairs, and was met with a long hallway lined with doors and few people. Upstairs was sparsely populated, and compared to downstairs it made teenagers look endangered. He began walking the halls in search of Amelia, but didn’t find her. He stood in a corner for a few moments, and decided to look in the rooms that lined the hallway. He opened the nearest door quietly, but only found a bathroom. The next door concealed a bedroom filled with bongs and teenagers. The next had a pool table surrounded by big football players, cussing like sailors during surgery. He was considering giving up the hunt, but he decided to check a few more doors. Nothing. No one. Faceless people. Finally, he only had one door left to open. He considered not even opening it. what was the point he thought. He cranked the door handle and the door swung open.
THIS PART NEEDS SEVERE REVISON
His mouth hung open. His heart stopped. The only shining light in his world was extinguished. There in the gorgeously decorated bedroom was his girlfriend, being fucked by the star quarterback on the football team. She was facing the door when it swung open, and began to scream. In that moment, he couldn’t tell if he had made her scream, or if the quarterback did, but he was paralyzed by it. Her and the quarterback quickly collected themselves and retreated under the mess of sheets.
The quarterback began typical masculine posturing as he hid beneath his blanket, “The fuck do you think you-“ but was cut off by Amelia.
“Oh my God, what the hell are you doing here?” Shrieked Amelia, still catching her breath.
“I… I just…” he muttered as he looked down at the floor, holding himself up with the door frame.
The quarterback started, “Dude, what the fuck are you doing here? We were kind of-“
“Why! Why the fuck are you doing this to me Amelia!” he cried. Tears were streaming down his face now, his voice was filled with sadness and rage.
“Look, I just-“ started Amelia.
“No, give me a God damn strait answer. What the fuck is this? Huh? What the fuck are you doing? Do you even know? What you’ve done here and what you’ve done to me? Huh?” he cried out.
Amelia coldy and calmly said “Look, you want a straight answer, so be it! You’re dying. You’re dying quickly, and you know it. The doctor said you had what, two weeks, three tops? I loved the time we spent together, I really did, but its over. You’re dying, and without you there is no us, it’s coming to an end and you cant deny that. So what the fuck am I doing here? I’m finding someone who will be there when you’re gone.” Both her and the jock began putting their clothes on under the sheets as she continued talking, “And you know what? I’ve never been happier,” She picked up a joint off of the bedside table and began smoking it as she pulled up her pants, “I have never been this happy! I feel amazing, I feel things Ive never felt with you. So you know what? Maybe it’s a good thing you'll be gone soon. Maybe its what I needed. Maybe your death is just what I needed.” She took a long draw from her joint before she buttoned up her shirt. she said “Now get the fuck out of here you nobody.” As she exhaled the sweet venom of her joint from her lungs”
“No, no no, you cant be- I wont! No we will fix this, we will just… We can-“ he said before he was cut off by the quarterback grabbing his shirt.
“I’ll escort him out.”
Before he knew it the front door was closing behind him. He stood there, looking at the frozen fountain with teary eyes and an otherwise blank expression. How? Why? What happened? She was all I had, she was the last thing going right for me, she was the light in this sea of darkness… and now, now what do I have? Thoughts such as these were blaring like a siren in the sinking ship of his head. Intensely loud thoughts sounding off in his mind, followed by a silence that made him think he lost the capacity to think. He stood on the porch of the small mansion, utterly destroyed for what seemed to be eons. He swayed as each thought frantically pounded away at his psyche. Did she ever truly love me? How long has this been going on? Do I want to know? Does it matter? Am I so low that it really doesn’t matter? Am I better off dead like she said? I must be. What says otherwise?
Suddenly his legs started moving as fast as his frantic mind. He began running, to where was unknown even to him. Down the icy steps, through the frozen drive, and out the metallic gates. He ran down the middle of the slush filled road, picking up speed with every thought that was born into his nightmarish mind. Past houses, past suburbs, until the blurred sight of houses on the edge of his vision became rare, and he was running down a dark back road somewhere. No streetlights to be found. The moon was his only guide. His head was spinning, but his legs pushed on regardless. Snow was pelting his bare arms and face as he sprinted down the road towards the edge of his small town. He noticed he was surrounded by a frozen evergreen forest that engulfed the road, and he gravitated towards it for some reason. Maybe he knew he’d be alone there. Just before reaching the edge of the road and moving into the forest, his feet slipped on some ice imbedded on the cold road, sending him sprawling down face first onto the hard road. He skidded across the ground for a couple feet, and tore his shirt and pants to ribbons. He lay there on the side of the road, face pressed into the frosty slush. He lay there crying, wondering how far from home he was. Wondering if anyone cared or if his parents even knew he was gone yet.
A short while later, a yellowish light began piercing his clasped shut eyelids. The rumbling of a diesel engine. Squealing of old brakes. The metallic slam of a door. Fast paced squishing of boots in the slush filled road. Suddenly a gruff voice spoke, “Hey, kid,” someone knelt beside him and shook him “Kid! My names Vick, Vick Jackson, can you hear me? I’m here to help you.” He didn’didn't move or make a sound, he just lay there in the cold snow. “Aw shit… You’re breathing, there's at least that… Hang on a minute.” The man, apparently named Vick, got up and plotted quickly back to his truck. It was then that the teen pulled himself up and stumbled off into the nearby woods. His arms and chest were torn just like his clothes, but he didn’t feel the wounds. “Hey! Hey, where are you going?” yelled Vick. That was a good question. Where was he going?
He was terribly afraid. Vick would take him home, or to a hospital, or somewhere where people would ask him questions about what happened tonight. He couldn’t even tell what happened himself. All he knew is he had no hope, no love, nowhere to be and nowhere to go. So he ran, he ran like a slave escaping some unjust capture. He ran through the dead undergrowth and came crashing through frozen branches. He heard shouts off behind him still, calling out to him, trying to take him away from the icy night. He ran full sprint, bounding over piles of snow, flying through frozen brambles and skeletons of bushes. Blood was pouring out of his wounds with every heartbeat, but he didn’t even notice. The shouts behind him died out, perhaps from the deafening thoughts in his head. “I’m going to die,” He thought. “I’m going to die, and she’s happy about it. How did it come to this… ” He cried burning tears, and sprinted on ahead.
About two weeks ago, he had a dramatic set of seizures in the middle of gym class. He was rushed to the hospital, and shortly after flown to intensive care in a more equipped hospital.
He came to a few days later, seemingly unharmed. He was all alone in a windowless hospital room, hooked up by tubes and wires to machines that’s functions were a mystery to him.
“It’s a severe malignant brain tumor,” The doctor told him later that day, “however this is unlike any one we have seen before. Rather than being in a somewhat centralized area, this one splintered out. The cancer has a spider web like effect to it, spreading out across most of your brain. I'm actually surprised you made it this far without complications.”
“I… I don’t know what to say doctor… Is there anything that can be done? Like can this be cured in any way?” he said
“Well… in normal cases of cancer there are treatment options, but this case is a little… different. The tumor has weaved its way into most of the hemispheres your brain, and surgery isn’t an option… And if I'm being honest, it’s a little late to try… Well, look, maybe we should wait for your parents to get here and then we can talk more. Until then, rest up. You’re going to be fine, you should be able to live out the rest of your life without many more complications.”
An hour later, the doctor spoke with his parents out in the hallway. They came and told him that things didn’t look good for his life. The doctors said that he had only two weeks or so to live, but he could be taken home that very day. They seemed overly attached for the next few days, then incredibly distant after that.
They kept him in the dark about his cancer. When he asked about treatment or things he could do, they wouldn’t tell him a thing, and were furious when he brought it up. They never spoke about his cancer in front of him, however late at night he could hear his parents talking about it in their bedroom. They often debated the expenses of chemotherapy, and if it was worth keeping him alive a few more weeks at most. A few more weeks where he would suffer. His mother cried a lot at night, but would never show any signs of weakness or sadness around him. Everyone in his family acted as if nothing was wrong. They were in a constant state of denial.
Amelia was devastated. She wouldn’t let him out of her sight for days, and for a week showed more love and affection than ever before. After that first week, she became incredibly distant. She began avoiding him in the halls and skipping classes they had together. She ignored texts and phone calls, and her parents said she wasn’t home when he came asking for her. Amelia just dropped out of his life completely. Until he looked for her at the party that is.
His wounds had frozen over. Ice was caked onto his skin like a mask. His hair looked like jagged rocks on some icy shoreline. Still, he sprinted through the frozen jungle. Running from his past. Running from his future. But to where?
His body couldn’t take the strain anymore. It finally gave way to the unrelenting force of the world around him. He was miles from home when he slammed face first into the iced over snow in the middle of the woods. He laid face down, wheezing for air in a panicked fashion. He rolled onto his back, his body trying to gulp in air, but not getting near enough. His mind consisted of fragments and pieces of a person he once was. Memories that meant nothing now. His family lived in the past, and pretended nothing had happened when he was diagnosed with cancer. Amelia lived in the future, knowing his death was inevitable and finding comfort in someone she found more stable. And him? He didn’t live in the past or future. In fact, he didn’t even live in the present much longer either. His mind was gone, devoid of any thoughts aside from survival. He wasn’t thinking of what’s to come, or what had been. He was truly thinking in the moment, gasping for air as he died slowly in the cold.
His entire body was senseless from the cold. His breath was as icy cold as the blanket of snow around him. His heartbeat slowed, his thoughts ceased, and his lungs stopped their screaming for air and settled in for this winter’s eternal hibernation.
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